


Inconvenient Ideal

by SleepySapphire



Category: Kamen Rider - All Media Types, Kamen Rider Ryuki
Genre: Double Penetration, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Coercion, squint for renshin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:28:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22645681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepySapphire/pseuds/SleepySapphire
Summary: Even though Kitaoka has proven to be a major scumbag, Shinji still wants to stop the fighting between Riders. He gets the bright idea to see if he can talk to Kitaoka, just one more time. It absolutely does not go as planned.
Relationships: Kitaoka Shuuichi/Yura Gorou
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Inconvenient Ideal

Shinji had given it some thought. 

He had thought about it over dinner. 

He had thought about it while steeping in the waters of the lukewarm bath, having been the last to get in due to Ren having pushed the rest of the dish washing on him in favor of running out to do mysterious Ren Things. Shinji wasn’t sure what, but he sure Ren was probably up to no good.

Maybe.

It wasn’t until Shinji had woken up the next morning, a plan in mind that he decided he was going to give it a shot. 

They were all Riders, so there had to be some kind of solution they could work to! 

So, after throwing on some clothes and taming his hair, Shinji left the little cafe to head to work, his resolution firm with determination to return to Kitaoka’s in an attempt to convince him to help Shinji stop the fighting. 

He spent the following hours at work a bouncing, fidgeting mass of energy as he tried to compile a list of ways this could all go wrong or, in the event Shinji was able to do something right for once, ways they could go right! 

Once he was finished at work, he headed back to the cafe to take care of the shift he had promised to cover for Yui. 

It was only an hour, but Shinji knew he needed to start helping out more around the store, or Sanako would get onto them about lack of help and threaten to close the cafe again. Ironically when he got there, it was just Ren and himself, because Sanako had taken off the moment he walked through the door. 

They worked in relative silence as closing time began to approach. By then, the store was empty, save for a customer here and there who had been finishing up their drinks and about to leave. As Shinji went about the store sweeping, he remembered his resolution to return to Kitaoka’s to convince him to team up. 

Clenching the broom in one hand, he shot his fist into the air, lost in his own world for several moments until the weight of a tray suddenly came down on top of his head. 

“Ah!! Hey!” He spun around in time to see Ren walking past him, the tray under his arm as he went around to the otherside of the bar table. 

“Ren! What was that for?!” He scowled, rushing after him and to the back.

Ren set the tray down and began to fill up the sink, a stack of dishes placed neatly beside it waiting to be washed. 

“You were the one who was spaced out in the middle of the walkway. Maybe don’t stand in the way?” He shrugged lightly, and Shinji growled slightly, before revenge hit him. 

Yui wouldn’t be mad if he left ten minutes early!

Ren’s hands were already occupied with delicate china as Shinji began to slip out of his apron. 

“So, Ren. I gotta go do something quick! Catch ya’ later, ‘kay?” He ducked through the hall and to the other side of the bar, dropping his apron over the back of a chair as Ren’s head shot up.

“Hey! You’re not leaving all the work on me.” Shinji was already halfway to the door, though, and they both knew Ren wouldn’t be able to catch up with wet, soapy hands all over the sleek handles of his fancy motorcycle. 

“Payback for last night! I gotta’ talk to Kitaoka-san, I’ll be back in a bit!” Shinji threw open the door, nearly running into a surprised Yui. 

“Shinji-kun??”

“Hey, idiot, get back here! Don’t go doing stupid things!” Shinji ignored Ren in favor of giving Yui a slight bow before he raced off to his scooter. 

“Sorry, Yui-chan!” 

“Huh?! Where are you going, the store’s still open-- Shinji-kun!” Shinji had hopped onto his scooter as she called after him, bewildered, and by the time he noticed a tall figure with inky black hair leaning over her in the doorway, Shinji had sped off down the street.

So far, the evening was rather pretty despite the rapidly decreasing temperature. As the wind began to cool his exposed cheeks and neck, Shinji couldn’t help but think it probably would have been a good idea to grab a scarf on the way out. Kitaoka didn’t live  _ that _ far, but Shinji had lost his gloves already, and he didn’t handle the cold that well. 

Wait…

Wasn’t it supposed to snow later? 

He cast a quick glance up to the sky overheard; A mass of white was beginning to overrun the sky, which had gone vibrant shades of magenta an orange as the sun was falling. 

Snow coming or not, it was still beautiful!

Shinji grinned a little to himself, thankful for the protection his goggles gave to his eyes, and continued on towards his destination. 

A short while later he turned down onto the correct street and found himself driving up to the house of Kitaoka Shuuichi and his boyfr-- Secretary?? How anyone could afford to live in such a nice place was beyond him, but they made it look so easy. 

It was impressive to think of how many people were in the world, and how vastly different each life was, despite being maybe only inches apart at a time. 

At the thought of the world, and all the lives in it, Shinji was reminded of how each life was important. Every person had thoughts, and every person had dreams. He parked the scooter and slid off, pulling off his helmet and dropping it on the scooters cushion as he shuffled his way up the few steps and to the door. 

Astoundingly, he had managed only one knock before the door popped open, and Gorou’s lanky form was visible through the small crack that had appeared. He stared out, and Shinji swallowed, suddenly nervous. 

There was always something about that man…

“H-hello…” He raised his hand in a small, halfhearted wave. Gorou stared down at him for a moment, face unreadable, and then suddenly, close the door.

“Ah! Wait! I just wanted to talk!” That, the drive had chilled him considerably. He could use a heater for at least five minutes before he was inevitably sent on his way, feeling stupider than he had when he had arrived. 

However, luck was on his side, and the door slid open again, this time without a dangling lock in place. Shinji grinned, hope lit up, and bowed as Gorou stepped out of the way to allow him entry. 

“Thanks! It’s starting to get freezing out there..” He rubbed his hands over the puffy sleeves of his coat and looked around, pleased by the sudden blast of warm air as he entered. 

“Is Kitao--”

“This way; Sensei is waiting.” Gorou spoke over him, and Shinji’s grin faltered into nervousness as he was once again intimidated by the taller man. As they went, all of Shinji’s well thought out arguments completely fizzled out of his mind. 

Kitaoka was leaned back in his fancy office chair, one hand resting on the arm while the other dangled up, his finger swaying to the tempo of music that had been playing from a record player that had been placed beside his desk. 

“Gorou-chan, do we have anymore from  _ Linda Yamamoto _ ? I’m just feeling the oldies tonight~” He sighed, his eyes sliding open before landing on Shinji. 

“Oh, right. We have company.” His tone went from dream-like to an air of remembrance, and he slowly sat up. Shinji moved to stand in front of the desk, his eyes drifting to the record player. The top was open, and he could see the disk spinning lazily, round and round and round. He stared, almost like he were in a trance. 

“So? Are you here for something specific, or do you just like wasting valuable time? Hmm?” Shinji’s eyes snapped up from the record player and he coughed, shoving his hands in his coat pocket. Despite the warm room, they were still cold. 

“I wanted to talk! About-- Oh, thank you.” Gorou stepped in, placing a tray with two steaming cups of tea down on the desk between them. Shinji smiled and reached out to take one, eager to feel the heated porcelain on his cold skin. 

“You didn’t  _ really _ come all the way here to dribble nonsensical pacifistic speeches at me again, did you? If that’s the case, drop the cup and leave.” Kitaoka stared up at Shinji, unamused, and Shinji felt Gorou looming behind him, as though ready to lift him up by the hood of his jacket and dump him out on the front step. 

Shinji bit his lip, hands tightening on the cup for a moment before he quickly downed the hot liquid, holding in a hiss of pain as it burned its way down his throat. 

“Wait a sec! Just hear me out, okay? I really think we would all do better teaming up, that way--”

“Gorou-chan~” Kitaoka yawned, chin in one hand for a moment as he slowly spun around.

“Sensei.” Shinji felt Gorou’s hand close around his forearm, big enough to fit the entire way despite the puffiness of the fabric. With a firm grip, he tugged lightly, beginning to guide Shinji to the door. 

“Ahhhh! Kitaoka-san wait, please, there has to be something we can do, some way we can all come to a compromise! The fighting, it can’t benefit anyone!” They were halfway to the door when Kitaoka waved his hand, and Gorou stopped. 

“Sensei?” Shinji blinked, looking up to Gorou and then Kitaoka before he tugged his arm free, watching Kitaoka as the other male stood. 

“You want to compromise, you say? And just how do you intend on doing that? Are you going to gather every single Rider and try to dissuade them from their personal goals, just so a few random men won’t die?” He approached Shinji, and Shinji swallowed, his eyes glancing down to the cup he still held. 

“T-that’s….” The cup was lifted from his hand, and Gorou’s presence disappeared behind him, presumably to return the cup to where it belonged for washing, later. Shinji looked up, frowning.

“Rider’s aren’t just random men, Kitaoka-san! We shouldn’t be fighting..!” Kitaoka came to a stop in front of Shinji, staring down at him for a moment before a pleasant smile split across his lips. 

“So, what kind of compromises are you going to make, then?” Shinji’s head tilted to the side, trying to wrack his mind for any kind of answer, before Kitaoka spoke again. 

“How about this; What could you  _ possibly _ have to offer me? I have my own goals, you know. I’m not going to give up just because  _ you _ say it’s for the best of everyone that we all join hands and make peace, and blah blah blah.” Shinji flinched, unable to maintain eye contact. Kitaoka was right, after all. Ren, Kitaoka-san, everyone… 

They all had their reasons for fighting. 

Still, it was wrong. 

There had to be other, better ways than destroying one another. 

“Well, if you’re so insistent on teaming up, then why don’t you prove your determination to me?” Shinji raised his head, suddenly feeling small, but gave a nod in agreement regardless. 

“O-okay! What could I do?” He laughed, trying to push away the anxiety that was beginning to rise in his chest, forcing himself to relax. A small smirk darkened Kitaoka’s face and he glanced behind Shinji.

“Gorou-chan, his coat? He won't be needing it.” Hands appeared from seemingly out of nowhere, and Shinji found his coat being gently slipped off his arms as he looked back in confusion. 

“Eh??” 

“Focus, Kido-kun. You said you agreed to prove yourself, correct?” Kitaoka reached out, taking Shinji by the chin. He turned his head back and tilted Shinji’s head back and forth, like he was examining him, and Shinji found his eyes squinting. He brushed Kitaoka’s hand away and took a small step back. 

“Y-yeah.. What of it? You said.. You wanted me to prove myself, but how?” Shinji wasn’t smart enough for these kinds of games. Kitaoka’s smirk widened a little and he moved over to the black sofa that was near his desk, sinking down into it with both knees spread. Shinji watched, unsure if he should follow, or just stay put. 

“Come here and get on your knees.” Shinji’s head flopped to one side, and he stared. 

“Huh?” 

“You know, Kido-kun, not all of us have the whole night to waste.” Kitaoka leaned back, one arm raising to the cushion behind him as he waited impatiently. Shinji, still not grasping at the situation, just gave a small nod and moved to the foot of the sofa, awkwardly giving a small nod before he sank to his knees and glanced up to Kitaoka. 

“Like… this?” The floor was digging into his knees, so he leaned back on his legs, both feet tucked against one another under his rear. Kitaoka sighed, staring down to Shinji for a few moments. 

“Really, unbelievable. Do you actually use that little brain of yours, Kudou, or is it just there for show?” Shinji scowled and leaned up, both hands on his knees. 

“W-- Well, you haven’t told me what I’m supposed to do! You just said.. Get on my knees, which is weird as it is…” He shifted and reached up, tucking a thick lock of hair behind one of his ears. At the sound of Kitaoka sighing, he looked up in time to see Kitaoka beginning to unbuckle his belt. Shinji stared, uncertainty growing before his mind went blank.

“Right, then. Apparently you can’t take a hint and need to be given explicit directions,” Kitaoka paused, and Shinji watched, a blank expression on his face, a Kitaoka unzipped his pants and pulled himself out, right there in the main room, for both Shinji and Gorou to see. 

“K-kitaoka-san?!” Shinji’s cheeks lit up, and he went to raise his hands to his face before Kitaoka suddenly leaned down and snatched up his wrist, tugging Shinji forward.

“Use your hand first, then your mouth. Don’t tell me you’ve never done this before? Tsk, tsk, tsk.” Shinji stumbled over his words and flinched as Kitaoka put his hand to his dick, his other pressed to the floor to keep himself from falling over. 

“W-- but, I don’t--” What was happening??

All he had wanted was to talk to Kitaoka, maybe see if they could reach some kind of agreement or match views, and now out of nowhere he was--

“Come on now, Kido-kun, we don’t have all night. I thought you were going to try and work with me, hm?” Shinji swallowed, reluctantly looking up to Kitaoka. He could only manage half a second under that judgmental gaze before he quickly averted his eyes again and gave a small, shy nod, his fingers closing around Kitaoka. 

“O-okay…” He breathed out. 

It was.. This was simple. 

From behind them, the doorway creaked a little, and Shinji was suddenly aware of Gorou watching them. He tried to ignore the other man as best as he could and slowly began to stroke Kitaoka. Maybe if he got it over with, they could continue the actual conversation? 

“That’s it.. Good boy, careful now. Your nails are a little long. If you scratch me, I’ll get angry.” This was weird. This was really weird. Shinji was uncomfortable. 

He let out a shaky breath and swallowed the lump of anxiety in his throat and continued stroking, not quite sure what he was doing because the only person he had touched this way was himself. 

Kitaoka let out a quiet, relaxed sigh, seeming content for the moment before he sat up and reached down, fingers curling in Shinji’s hair. He pulled him up, and Shinji found himself face to face with his cock. He blushed, cheeks turning dark, and looked up in confusion. 

“K-kitaoka-san--”

“Kido-kun, you can’t just use your hands. What use is that big mouth of yours if only nonsense spews out of it? Hurry up, I’m getting  _ bored _ .” Shinji had never done something like this before! A tremble of anxiety ran up his spine; He was tempted to get up and run out, but what good would that do? He’d just look even stupider than he already did. Drawing in a breath, he gave another small nod and leaned in, lips parting cautiously. 

He had never, ever thought he would ever do something like this. 

Even when he had started living under the same roof as Ren and started having… less than wholesome dreams about him, Shinji hadn’t let himself think about Ren as anything other than a sort-of friend. 

Well, he thought of Ren as his friend. 

He just didn’t know if Ren thought the same way.

That was fine, though. Shinji would do all the friendship stuff for him.

Brushing aside thoughts of Ren and what it would maybe have been like to have the lankier, stoic man in place of Kitaoka on the sofa in front of him, Shinji was about to take Kitaoka in his mouth when suddenly, Kitaoka tightened the grip he had on Shinji’s hair and  _ pushed _ , forcing Shinji’s mouth onto him without so much as a warning. He tensed, the taste of skin and salt heavy on his tongue as he tried to deal with the intrusion, and ended up trying to pull away with Kitaoka’s name muffled by the dick in his mouth. Kitaoka’s grip only remained firm, holding Shinji in place, and Shinji forced himself to breath out through his nose before reluctantly closing his lips around Kitaoka’s cock and sucking at it 

It was…

Bad.

He didn’t like it. 

Shinji closed his eyes and continued to suck Kitaoka off. He was barely past flaccid, though, no matter how Shinji sucked or used his tongue to lick up the underside.

Finally, Kitaoka yanked Shinji off of him and tossed him backwards, looking annoyed. 

“Is your mouth for show, too? All that lip flapping and you can’t even suck a cock right?” Shinji slowly sat up, his eyes stinging slightly as he reached up and rubbed at his mouth, mumbling a small apology. 

“Ugh. Whatever, I suppose we’ll just have to do things the  _ difficult _ way. Gorou-chan~” Kitaoka clapped his hands together, his expression turning from annoyed to eager as he stood. Shinji heard Gorou approach, but didn’t move, too busy trying to contemplate what was happening. It was all so confusing to him, he wasn’t sure what to do or how to think. He want to run away and hide under the blankets in his bed. Ren would be there, of course, but he would rather Ren be there than not. Ren was strong, and quiet, and even if he judged, he would still  _ be _ there. Not protection, of course, but a source of reliability. 

Then, Shinji felt himself being lifted from the floor, both of Gorou’s arms wrapping under his. He flailed, even more confused.

“Kitaoka-san?! W-- Put me down! Hey!” Gorou was so tall, though, all Shinji could do was dangle as Gorou began to carry him off down the hall. Kitaoka followed, having slipped out of his expensive slippers and dropped his pants. 

“Kitaoka-san!” Shinji flailed, pretty sure that he had managed to jam his shoe into Gorou’s knee from the sudden wince that jumped through the taller man. If it had hurt, he didn’t show it. 

“Don’t worry, Shinju-kun, it’s for a good cause,  _ remember _ ? You said so yourself, you were willing to compromise~ Don’t you want to figure out a way for there to be peace among Riders? Don’t tell me you’re going to give up now? Or..?” Gorou had taken them into a bedroom; It didn’t look like the master room from what he could tell. It was too plainly decorated and lacked the flair that was sure to have screamed  _ Shuuichi Kitaoka _ . But it didn’t seem like the kind of room Gorou would sleep in, so-- 

Gorou backed himself onto the bed and climbed up, pulling Shinji tight against his chest as he settled himself against the headboard. Shinji squirmed, shoes digging into the bed as he tried to get free. 

“Get off! I-I don’t know what you’re planning, but I don’t-- Please, let go of me!” He didn’t want to admit it, but Shinji was feeling scared. He pushed against Gorou for a moment before he leaned in, mouth opening to bite at the arm that was wrapped around his small body when a hand shot out and gripped his hair again, raising his head up. Kitaoka glared, his eyes narrowed. 

“Don’t you hurt him. If this is your way of saying you want out, then so be it. But the moment you hurt my Gorou-chan…” Shinji trembled, his eyes watery. He swallowed, remembering the time he had thought he had  _ killed  _ Gorou, who had believed to be Zolda at the time. 

“I-i--”

“Yes or no, Kido-kun. Do you want us to work together, or not?” Kitaoka released Shinji and stepped back, beginning to loosen his tie. Shinji lowered his head, his eyes on the arm that was held firmly around him. Gorou’s arm was firm, and his hands large. Shinji couldn’t help but remember the pure joy he had felt at realizing he was alive. No, he didn’t want to hurt Gorou. He shifted, legs together as he mumbled another quiet apology, particularly to Gorou. At the end of the bed, Kitaoka had just dropped his shirt to the floor and reached out, tugging off both of Shinji’s shoes at once. They were then tossed carelessly to the floor, his socks soon to follow as Kitaoka climbed up onto the bed in front of them, a cool expression on his face. 

“So, Kido-kun… I assume it’s safe to say you’ve never done anything like this before? Not even with Akiyama? What a surprise~” Shinji’s head shot up just in time for his wide eyes to lock with Kitaoka’s. His cheeks flushed, dark red.

“W-- Of course not! We  _ aren’t _ like that, a-and Ren, he already--” Ren was already in love with someone else.

Shinji knew. 

There was nothing he would do about it, either. It wasn’t Shinji’s place to even  _ think _ about pursuing something with someone who was not only in a committed relationship, but someone whose partner was hospitalized. To even think about trying something so underhanded and terrible.. Shinji could never. 

“Ah, is that so? Well, lucky for you then, you don’t have to feel guilty for screwing around behind his back if he isn’t interested.” Somehow, that felt worse to hear than the initial assumption that he and Ren had been sleeping together. 

Shinji went quiet for a few moments, heart thudding fast against his ribcage as Kitaoka scooted up to the top of the bed, leaning over to the table next to the bed to dig around in it for a moment or two before he returned, a bottle in his hands. He dropped it between them and looped his fingers around the hem of Shinji’s pants, giving a single  _ yank _ to tug them down. 

“Hmm, not too bad. You have a very slender waist for someone of your build. Compared to Akiyama, you’re all soft and squishy. That man’s nothing but bone. Absolutely no ass.” As though to demonstrate, Kitaoka slipped his hands against the comforter and Shinji squeaked as he felt two palms take a handful of his now bare rear in each hand, squeezing. 

“T-that’s..!” Shinji brought his legs together, his arms twisting around to try and cover himself. Kitaoka shifted forward, coming between his legs to keep them from closing all the way. 

“You’ve already had my cock in your mouth, there’s no need to pretend you want modesty  _ now _ of all times.” Shinji felt himself burn with humiliation. 

Was this really necessary? 

“I-I just don’t see how.. How this is going to--” Kitaoka’s hands squeezed once more before shifting up, grabbing the backs of his thighs and spreading his legs entirely so he could situate himself between them. Like this, Shinji was entirely exposed and there was no way to hide himself or wriggle free. 

Discomfort and anxiety were a swelling mass in his chest, and he found himself wishing he had the strength to kick Kitaoka away, or at least do  _ something _ as Kitaoka took the bottle up, tossing it from one hand to the other in a nonchalant way before he uncapped it and began to pour the contents onto one of his hands. 

“Well, lucky for you, I’ll be the first one to get it in. Don’t worry, Kido-kun. I know what I’m doing. Gorou-chan~? Raise him a little, he’s so small, the angle is difficult.” There was no time for Shinji to protest as Gorou gave a quiet affirmation of Kitaoka’s request and carefully lifted Shinji a little, legs spread out under them as he held Shinji in his lap. Kitaoka wasted no time and lowered his slicked fingers down, using his other hand to hold one of Shinji’s thighs apart as he pressed his fingers--

Shinji’s eyes grew wide and he strained against Gorou, entirely unprepared mentally for this. The intimacy, the touches, the  _ feeling of a finger up his butt _ ! 

“Wait, I-- Ah!” Shinji made a noise of surprise as Kitaoka’s finger pushed all the way in, still, then followed by another as Kitaoka began to push another in. 

“Hm, you’re awfully tense. Try to relax a little more, would you? I’d rather you not squeeze my dick off.” The second finger shoved in, slick, and both began to move in and out of him. He closed his eyes tight, a small whimper of discomfort coming from his throat. 

“Gorou-chan? You can play too, you know. Maybe it’ll relax him.” He was starting to press in a third finger when Shinji felt Gorou move under him, and two large, warm hands slid up his pink shirt. They trailed up his abdomen, fingers dragging from his soft belly and to his chest, leaving his torso and chest exposed as his shirt was bunched around his collar bone. Gentle kisses were then pressed against the shell of his ear, and Gorou began to massage his chest, fingers pressing and kneading the skin while brushing past both nipples here and there. Shinji trembled, letting out a shaky breath as the ticklish sensations began to mingle with the discomfort down below. 

They stayed like that for less than a minute, then Kitaoka pulled his fingers out and sat back, messing around with the bottle again. Shinji swallowed, face impossibly hot, and squirmed a little in Gorou’s arms as he tried to force his stupid, empty brain to string enough words together to tell Kitaoka to stop, that there had to be other ways, he didn’t  _ want _ to do this; He was scared!

He had finally been about to get a word out when Gorou caught both nipples between his index finger and thumb, pinching and tugging with the same gentleness he had been using before. Shinji gripped the blankets under them with both hands, his breathing uneven as he felt heat beginning to pool in his abdomen.

This was weird.

This was  _ really _ weird, why the hell was he getting hard from this?!

Was this  _ normal _ ?

Kitaoka’s shadow fell over him as he hoisted Shinji’s legs up. Shinji opened his eyes, mind growing blank again as he watched Kitaoka take himself in one hand and guide himself towards Shinji’s… Shinji’s…

“Okay, I  _ think _ we’re ready~ Don’t worry, Shinji- _ chan _ , it’s for the good of our potential companionship.” Shinji felt Kitaoka pressing, and suddenly, he couldn’t do this. He tensed in Gorou’s arms, trying to use his one free leg to wriggle free. 

“I-i can’t, Kitaoka-san please, I don’t wanna--” Kitaoka shoved in, and Shinji yelled in surprise at what he could only describe as an awful, thick  _ burn _ moved its way into him. He froze, body and mind in shock as Kitaoka moaned. 

“F-f.. you really… r-really haven’t done this before, have you? You’re so tight, Kido-kun…” Shinji felt his eyes sting as several tears dripped down his cheeks.

“P-please.. It… it hurts.. T-take it out…” Shinji felt himself shifted in Gorou’s arms a little and his head was tilted to the side as Gorou pressed their lips together and began to kiss him, cutting off anymore of his pained noises as Kitaoka began to move, thrusts first shallow before growing deeper and more sure. Shinji whined into Gorou’s lips, managing to pull away from the kiss for a moment or two before Gorou pushed their lips back together again, not particularly demanding or dominating, just  _ there _ .

After a few thrusts, Kitaoka paused, one arm around Shinji’s leg. He wasn’t out of breath, but his cheeks had tinged pink and sweat had gathered at his brow. He smiled towards Gorou and reached down, plucking up the bottle of lube with his free hand. 

“Gorou-chan~ You should.. Come inside, too. I feel bad leaving you alone like this.” He breathed, and Gorou released Shinji’s face, eyes shifting up to meet Kitaoka’s.

“Sensei.. I don’t know.. If he could--” Kitaoka shushed him, releasing Shinji’s leg so he could reach down between them and caress Gorou through his pants.

“You’re hard, too. Gorou-chan.. Is it from feeling him rock against you, or from watching me fuck him..?” Kitaoka began to thrust into Shinji again as he made eye contact with Gorou, his pace slow, almost teasing. Shinji let out a low whine, his eyes closed. He didn’t know what Kitaoka was talking about, he just wanted this to be over. 

Gorou mumbled something quietly behind him and reached down, pulling Shinji up a little further onto him. Kitaoka smiled, eyes lidded and foggy as he paused inside Shinji again to carefully work Gorou’s erection free from his pants. 

Shinji heard him release a small sigh near his ear, and forced his eyes open. Kitaoka was pouring more of that oily stuff on his hand, rather copious amounts amounts to the point it was dripping between his fingers and onto the blankets below. He then reached under, and Shinji could feel him start to stroke Gorou.

“S-sensei…”

What were they doing?

Shinji let out a small whimper; the brief pause had made the stinging in his backside noticeable, finally. 

It hurt… It hurt, he hated this. He should have never left the cafe earlier. He should have just stayed there and done dishes with Ren, even if it meant they would somehow end up bickering, or if Ren had managed to push all the tedious work onto him to run out and do who knows what. 

Shinji swallowed, his body shaking.

There weren’t any windows in the room they were in, how much time had even passed? It felt like they had been this way for hours, but that couldn’t be right 

Did everyone eat dinner already? 

Did they leave any left for him when he got back? 

Although Shinji wasn’t too sure if he could stomach any food, assuming this.. Whatever it was they were doing, ever finished. 

Shinji felt a few stray tears slide down his cheeks and slowly opened his eyes, blinking. 

Kitaoka had stopped thrusting, and was speaking to Gorou in a hushed, light voice, and suddenly Shinji felt more pressure down below. He squeezed his eyes shut, tensing as his anxiety skyrocketed into full blown terror. 

“W-wait, what are-- Hh, stop, i-it.. It  _ hurts, it hurts, stop _ !” He cried, flailing between them as he felt something firmer, larger than Kitaoka begin to push into him. Kitaoka had already hurt as it is, but  _ this?  _ This was so much worse. 

Gorou’s arms dropped under Shinji’s legs and pulled them up, holding him steady between Kitaoka and himself as Kitaoka breathed out unevenly. 

“Gorou-chan.. Can you feel me?” Kitaoka bit his lip, reaching out, and slowly pressed in against Gorou as Gorou cautiously lifted his hips, pressing further and further into Shinji. All Shinji could do was hold fistfulls of the blankets under them, his entire body gripped with shock and pain as the two of them began to very, very gently rock into him. 

Shinji could feel words desperately falling from his lips, but he couldn’t really understand what he was saying. All he knew was that he wanted this over, he wanted to get away and hide and not think about it anymore. 

He was vaguely aware of Kitaoka leaning against him, head over his shoulder as he locked lips with Gorou while they both continued to push in and out of Shinji, their thrusts growing uneven and needy. 

“Nn.. Gorou-chan… I’m.. I’m going to--” Shinji hissed as he felt something hot spill into him. Kitaoka moaned softly, lips beside Shinji’s ear while he rode out the afterglow of his orgasm. Gorou’s gave a small nod against the back of Shinji’s head, his forehead buried in Shinji’s sweaty locks. He made a small noise as Kitaoka carefully pulled himself out and leaned back, raising a hand to slick his hair back before he looked down to them both and grinned, licking his upper lip. Gorou whimpered quietly, his grip hard on Shinji’s legs.

“S-sensei, are you…?” Kitaoka hummed, and slid off of the bed. 

“I’m finished, yeah. I’m going to go wash up. When you’re finished, send him on his way. Kido-kun clearly can’t keep up, so it would be a waste of time for all of us.” One of Gorou’s hands came up and pressed to Shinji’s rib cage, supporting him as he shifted their positions and bent him forward. Shinji folded easily, arms and knees weak as Gorou’s pace quickened and they were left alone. 

He wasn’t sure if he had heard it correctly, but Shinji thought maybe Gorou might have muttered a quiet apology behind him. Shinji’s mind was nothing but blanket static at that point, though, worsened when he felt Gorou’s hand reach around and take Shinji’s throbbing, untouched dick in one hand to stroke and pump at it.

Shinji curled inwards on himself, more tears leaking from his eyes as Gorou let out groan overhead. Their bodies were hot and sticky, and it didn’t take long before Shinji once again felt burning heat shoot into him as Gorou came, still working his hand away at Shinji’s erection. Shinji didn’t want to come.

He didn’t want to get anything from this. He just wanted to go home and wash up and--

Shinji whimpered as he came, soiling the blankets below.

Despite the pleasure and the orgasm, he felt horrible, and the feeling didn’t change as Gorou gently pulled himself out and shifted, putting a hand to Shinji’s shoulder to lay him onto the bed. Shinji went down easily, mind blank and eyes unseeing, barely noticing the weight behind him gone as Gorou climbed off the bed and disappeared. He laid there, silent and unthinking, only alerted to a change in the situation when he felt a warm cloth dabbing at his thighs, moving up and between his--

Shinji out another whimper, biting at one of the knuckles he had pressed against his mouth, listening to the sound of water being squeezed from the cloth before the cloth was returned. 

A few minutes later, there was a hand to his forehead, gentle, perhaps comforting if he hadn’t just gone through what had happened. 

“.. I know you’re exhausted, but Sensei wants you to leave.” Gorou slowly lifted Shinji, and he found his clothes being handed to him. Numbly, Shinji began to get dressed.

It wasn’t until he was pulling one of his socks on that his hands began to tremble uncontrollably. 

Everything ached. 

He felt disgusting, covered in sweat and drool and--

Slipping his shoes on, he slowly pulled himself to his feet, almost unable to support himself from the pain that shot up his spine. He walked to the door of the room, Gorou only two steps behind him. Upon exiting the room, his eyes landed on Kitaoka, who was sprawled out on his sofa in a velvety black robe with matching slippers. In one hand he held a tea cup, and in the other dangled a t.v remote. He yawned, about to take a sip from the cup when he noticed Shinji.

“Eh? You’re still here? Gorou-chan~ I thought I said-- Oh?” Shinji took off, throwing open the front door as he bolted from the house. 

If he had to see Kitaoka--

If he had to  _ hear _ Kitaoka, he was going to be sick. 

Shinji grit his teeth, heated air turning frigid instantly as his feet crunched through a small layer of snow and he kept running. 

He wasn’t sure where he was going, really. 

He just knew he needed to get away.

He ran until he couldn’t catch his breath or ignore the pain in his limbs. The sun had long since set, leaving everything bathed in darkness, saved only by street lamps or building lights. 

Shinji recognized the area he was in, but that didn’t matter. He turned into a small park and wandered up to a bench, slowly sinking down, and just stared at the untouched snow in front of him, an untouched canvas of white. 

Yet again, he found his mind growing blank, the disarray of his thoughts quieting into nothingness. 

“Kido! Y--  _ fuck,  _ are you insane?!” The sound of rapid snow crunching broke him out of the spell he had fallen under. He slowly blinked. The shaking from earlier had turned into shivering from the cold without his realization. He looked up as Ren stopped in front of him, Shinji’s own coat draped under his arm until he took it and dropped it over Shinji, knocking some of the snow that had started to gather on him.

It was cold.

He breathed out, a heavy cloud puffing out and dissipating. 

“Ren..” 

Shinji felt weak, but he couldn’t sleep here. It was cold, and he would probably freeze, because there’s no way Ren would do something like carry him home.

Home?

Right, he was… 

Where was he, anyway? 

Shinji looked up to Ren, about to speak before he was cut off. 

“Get up, we need to go home before you freeze to death.” Shinji gave a small nod, suddenly feeling like a child that had misbehaved and ran off without his parents consent. He stood, slowly pulling his arm through the sleeve of his puffy jacket. Hadn’t this been the coat he had worn to--

“This…” 

“Kitaoka’s secretary brought it over. And your bike. What the hell have you been doing all night? Did you decide you wanted to become a popsicle? Not that it’s  _ my _ business.” He growled, turning to stomp away. 

It didn’t occur to Shinji to follow until Ren spun around and grabbed his wrist, pulling him forward. Shinji stumbled, but moved to catch up with ease, though there was a distinct limp in his step.

They walked in silence for several minutes, Shinji uncertain of what to say and Ren his normal quiet self. Then, Shinji felt Ren’s hand tighten around his wrist; He had yet to let go. 

“Kido… I don’t know what happened, but…” Shinji looked up as Ren trailed off. 

He still hadn’t released Shinji’s wrist, and for some reason Shinji found comfort in that steady, firm grip. 

Unlike Kitaoka who had soft hands, Ren’s were worn and calloused from doing chores and gripping the handles of his motorcycle. 

Kitaoka smelled like expensive colognes Shinji couldn’t put a name to the smell of, and Ren smelled like teas and the particular brand of dish soap used at the cafe. 

“It’s just..” Ren was having trouble talking, but he wasn’t exactly a talker to begin with. Shinji felt his lips split into a small smile as he stared up to him, his eyes beginning to grow moist as tears started to gather in his eyes again. 

Even if, for whatever reason, they ended up having to fight in the future…

Ren felt like home to him. 

He shifted his arm slightly, turning his hand until it slipped into Ren’s. 

Shinji knew he wouldn’t be able to gain anything from it, but it still felt right.

Ren kept quiet, and they continued making their way home, his hand curling slightly around Shinji's.

**Author's Note:**

> ever since i saw kitaoka and gorou-chan towering over shinji, i've wanted a shinji sandwich.


End file.
